Being the Star Trek nerd I am, I can't resist devoting an entire journal entry to the latest movie.

I lucked into a couple passes to an advance screening of Star Trek Into Darkness last Wednesday, so I invited my brother along as my guest, and I'm very glad I did.  A) It was far more enjoyable with company and B) he was the one who recommended we get there two hours early, which was the absolute right call, because we snagged what might have been the last two really good seats in the auditorium.  The time passed more quickly with someone else there and I didn't feel like a loser the way I would have if I'd been alone.

I've been into Star Trek since age 13, but I might have been destined to become a Trekkie from the start, considering that even as a little kid, Pigs in Space was the segment of The Muppet Show I always looked most forward to.  Not that I've always taken kindly to being described as a Trekkie.  Part of that has to do with the fact that for several years, that was the only thing my dad could find to say about me in the hated annual family Christmas letter.  Also, I've probably conformed to too many of the stereotypical notions people have about Trekkies (i.e. social ineptitude) for me to proudly embrace that label.

I did not love 2009's Star Trek.  It's not like I didn't give it a fair shot either, unlike some people who were prepared to hate on it from the start.  The trailers had me really excited, but once I saw it, it just didn't feel like Star Trek to me.  It was more like Galaxy Quest crossed with Starship Troopers.  Plus, it was so dumbed down.  I'm no science expert, and I know the science in Star Trek has not always been totally believable, but when Spock mentions a supernova threatening to blow up the entire galaxy, that was when I started to feel nostalgic for Star Trek: The Motion Picture, which is the most dull movie in the franchise, but at least it was trying for an intelligent plot.  So anyway, my expectations were not high for Star Trek Into Darkness.  

It's hard to say anything specific about the film without venturing into spoiler territory- speaking for myself, I'm very happy I managed to avoid practically all spoilers prior to seeing this film.  What I will say is that Star Trek Into Darkness was a vast improvement over its predecessor by leaps and bounds.  Not since 96's First Contact have I enjoyed a Star Trek movie this much.  A lot of the Star Trek movies seem to focus on two characters and leave the supporting cast on the sidelines, but everyone in this movie gets something interesting to do.  In spite of the relatively dark tone, it's often quite funny as well and is ultimately an optimistic movie.  

While I gradually came to accept 2009's Star Trek as mindless fun, I remember sitting in the theater when I first saw it and just getting this sinking feeling, like a balloon with the air slowly being released.  My reaction was the complete opposite this time around.  

JJ Abram's inaugural foray into this franchise kind of seemed to leave loyal fans in the dust in the rush to attract a wider demographic.  Even before Abrams, I'm pretty sure there were complaints that Trek movies had become too much about space battles and the like and had gotten away from going boldly where no one has gone before.  I feel like the writers of Into Darkness must have taken some of those criticisms to heart and set out to address them in what I think is a fairly clever way.  

This should appeal as much to most Trekkies as it will to general audiences just looking for a cinematic thrill ride.  The people behind this film got to have their cake and eat it too: they made the most action-packed Star Trek movie ever, but at the end of the day, it's also a reaffirmation of the core ideals of Star Trek and is a lot more reverential to the canon.  Or, as I said to my brother when it was over, "There was a lot more Star Trek in this Star Trek movie."  Having said that, however, the question still remains whether it's possible to craft a movie that is actually about seeking out new life and new civilizations rather than simply paying lip service to that concept.

Of course, not all Trekkies will agree with my assessment, but it's impossible to please everyone and fanboys are notoriously difficult to please.  In my opinion, though, it's one of the best films I've seen this year.

Hey, all.  Sorry if my April Fool's stunt this year was kind of a downer.  At least I wasn't insulting my watchers this time, so I consider it a step up.  I don't think I'm great at pranks; every time I pull one, I just feel guilty afterwards.  One time at work, I took an oversize spider Halloween decoration, stuck it on my back and ran in front of a coworker while yelling, "Get it off me!  Get it off me!"  I managed to elicit a scream of terror, which was funny, but I felt bad when I realized it wasn't so much because of the giant spider but because of my uncharacteristically frantic behavior.  I was trying to be goofy for once and ended up more horrifying.  Never mind- I promise next year's gag will be much more harmless.  If I'm still here a year from now, that is.  All right, on to what I've been watching and reading.

Movies:

Taken 2

This should have been on my last list, but I'd forgotten I'd seen it.  I haven't seen the first Taken and I didn't want to see this one, but my dad really wanted to see it and it was okay.

Young Adult

Bucks convention by featuring a protagonist who does not learn or change, which is more realistic, but doesn't exactly make for a feel-good ending.

Wreck it Ralph

The animated movie that should have won the Oscar, not Brave.

Life of Pi

I haven't seen any of the other Oscar nominated films, but for some reason, even though I enjoyed it, I was still rooting for this not to win best picture.  I read the book years ago and this was very faithful to it.  I still don't think it's "a story that will make you believe in God," though, as is it says on the book jacket and as is explicitly stated in the film.  Rather, my interpretation is that it's about how people come up with crazy stories to explain things they don't understand or would rather not know about.

Speaking of the Academy Awards, i really enjoyed them this year; I thought Seth MacFarlane was a good choice for host and he did a decent job.  The "controversy" it created strikes me as somewhat absurd.

The Master

I had the vague notion this was about tennis.  My least favorite out of the PT Anderson movies I've seen.

Rise of the Guardians

Decent story, but I'm dubious about any plot that hinges upon the necessity of getting kids to believe in things that we as adults know aren't true, like Santa Claus.

Oz the Great and Powerful

I obtained an early draft of the script for this movie ages ago and was not impressed- the final version was a major improvement.  My only disappointment is that it didn't take more from the books, but Disney did try to do that once with Return to Oz and look where it got them (though Return to Oz is an underrated classic, imho, and I'm happy it's attained a cult status at least).  

After having spent months on the imdb message boards, rolling my eyes at idiots for assuming this was a prequel to the MGM movie, I must concede that the obvious goal here was to make this as much of a prequel to that movie as possible without getting their butts sued by Warner Bros.  Still, I was able to spend two hours in the theater without thinking about my problems once; I'd consider that a successful film.  Oh, and China Girl was awesome; I could see that character having a career beyond this movie the way Tinkerbell and Jiminy Cricket have had.

It's not the most amazing movie ever, but I think some people have been way too harsh in their criticisms of Oz the Great and Powerful.  if they want to see what a really bad Oz movie looks like, they should check out the film I saw almost a year prior to this one: Dorothy and the Witches of Oz.  I mentioned this when I saw it last year, but it bears repeating that that was literally one of the worst things I've sat through.  And then afterward, I met some of the cast and had to lie through my teeth about how enjoyable I thought the movie was- that's also made it more difficult writing a truthful review on imdb; i keep thinking I'm being too nice.

Silver Linings Playbook

I snuck into this after seeing Oz the Great and Powerful.  I was curious what all the fuss was about.  I'm still not sure.  Cute enough movie, I guess, but kind of predictable.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

My excitement for this film had ebbed a lot by the time I finally saw it.  I'm really not sure this was a story that needed to be stretched out over three films.  Martin Freeman was perfectly cast as Bilbo, obviously.  But why did the goblin king have a giant scrotum on his chin?  

Books

The number of book I've read so far this year is somewhat pitiful.  I've only read two more since my previous update, but some allowances might be made for the sheer length of these two and the relative challenge it was to tackle them.  They were both from the "Wicked Years" series.

A Lion Among Men by Gregory Maguire

I liked this better than the previous book, Son of a Witch, and appreciated that it answered some unresolved mysteries from Wicked.  Even so, it seems like the author likes leaving some things up for the reader to ponder, which I don't mind.  I finished this way faster than the first two books, thanks to me misplacing my library card.  I just spent a few hours every day in the library reading it there, rather than checking it out and bringing it home where I have too many distractions.

Out of Oz by Gregory Maguire

This should really count as two books, at least.  It's 567 pages and not exactly the sort of text you just breeze through.   I eventually estimated that it takes me about an hour to get through 25 pages of this guy's prose.  The best word I've found to describe Maguire's writing style is ostentatious.  Telling the backstory of the Wicked Witch of the West is an interesting idea and could have been done any number of ways.  I'm not sure there are many authors, though, who would try to turn it into Serious Literature, the way Maguire did.  

He reimagines Oz so thoroughly, he could almost have made this series about a completely different land and characters, though then he'd lose his "hook," and part of the fun is catching familiar names and places.  But his Oz is so gritty, it's hard to imagine anything as ridiculous as a talking Scarecrow fitting in there, which perhaps explains why he quickly disappeared that character in an earlier book.  In past books, I felt Maguire was more in love with his words than he was with his characters, but I didn't have that problem this time; I felt sufficiently invested in the characters in this book- even Dorothy.  

I'm not sure why Magure felt the need to make Dorothy a rather irritating and disliked character in his story.  It reminds me of Laurie King's The Beekeeper's Apprentice- a novel about a girl named Mary Russell who becomes a pupil of sorts to Sherlock Holmes.  It's essentially Mary Sue fanfic, but I thought it was well written and enjoyed the period detail and it was popular enough to spawn a series.  However, the one thing about that book that really irked me is that her characterization of Watson seemed to be drawn from the bumbling Nigel Bruce portrayal.  It's almost like the author thought she had to denigrate a canonical character to to bolster her own creation.  

Anyway, I thought Out of Oz was a satisfying conclusion.  I've been kind of ambivalent about these books for the most part and partly just kept reading to find out how things turn out, but this last one I almost didn't want to end.  On the other hand, I'm relieved that I don't have to read any more.

I may seem more obsessed with Oz than I actually am.  Truthfully, some die-hard Oz fans scare me more than rabid Trekkies.  I mean, I grew up with the books, and my interest has been revitalized in recent years by the surge in different film projects in various stages of development, Oz the Great and Powerful being chief among them.  But now that I've seen that movie and finished the Wicked Years series, I can see myself taking a bit of a break from Oz related stuff for the time being.  At least until...

There's an independent production of The Wizard of Oz in the works that aims to be more faithful to the original book than previously seen.  I have no idea how good it will be.  I admit to having been pretty skeptical about this particular project, but after having seen their proof-of-concept footage, I'm impressed and more optimistic than I was before,.  Independent filmmaking really intrigues me, and if nothing else, I have to admire the dedication of people with limited resources who strive to commit their vision to film.

Other movies I'm looking forward to this year are Star Trek into Darkness and Man of Steel.  I actually got misty eyed watching the MOS trailer.  My expectations aren't as high with Into Darkness since I was kinda let down by 2009's Star Trek, but I'm hoping to be pleasanly surprised.  I'll just add that I think it's preposterous so many people assume Benedict Cumberbatch is playing Khan; I may lose what little respect I have for the writers if that's the case.  Assuming he is playing a known bad guy, I'll go on record by guessing it's Captain Garth, just because I think that would be cool.  Okay, most people have probably stopped reading by this point, so I'll shut up now.

Well, it's April.  Were it not for the sketch I did for that meme yesterday, I would have gotten through all of March without posting a single pic,  Sorry about my lack of productivity lately.  You'd be justified in assuming that I've been in another one of my all-too-frequent slumps.  On the contrary, things have actually been going so well for me for once that the only downside is that I haven't had a lot of time to focus on art.

Boy, when this year started, I was really concerned about my immediate future.  I can laugh about it now, but it was looking more and more certain that it was simply my lot in life to die a lonely failure.  But I guess the lesson here is that you just have to focus on the positives and keep plugging away and eventually things will turn around.  I finally have my social anxiety under control and I'm actually way happier now than I can remember being in practically my entire life.  

I used to lie in bed every night, unable to sleep because of how disastrously things were going, how I was going to pay my bills, etc.  Now, not only do I have far fewer problems to stress over, but I sleep very well, thanks to all the sex I'm having with my new girlfriend.  She is from Canada.

Yessir, things were bad, but now they're good... forever!

April Fools'!

Ha ha, joke's on you; my life still sucks.

I've decided I should probably operate under the optimistic assumption that I'll still be around by the end of 2013, and so I might as well continue keeping a record of the books I read and movies I watch this year, the same as 2012.  Besides which, I know people were sooo interested in hearing about this type of stuff when I did it last year, so that's further incentive to continue.  Ha ha, just kidding.  But I'm gonna do it anyway.

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time by Mark Haddon
      Quick read.  I literally read this in one sitting.  Interesting story told from the point of view of an autistic kid.  I read some suggestion that he had Asperger's, which the author denies.  I'd agree that the protagonist's problems don't seem to match the symptoms.  I only mention it because a couple people have suggested I might have it.  I really don't think I do, though it would actually be nice if I could point to some mental disorder and use it as an excuse as to why I'm the way I am.  I think what I have is just plain old crippling social anxiety.  

Shopgirl by Steve Martin
      I'm not doing so great on books because this is the only other book I've read so far this year.  It was as quick a read as the previous one, but it took me a few hundred more hours to finish it.  My mistake was checking it out of the library, whereas I read the first book entirely in the library where there are fewer distractions.  Anyway, I kind of want to see the movie now, which the library has, but I can't find my library card.  Maybe it flew out of my pocket it when I slipped on the ice.  Or maybe it's on the floor of my apartment somewhere and i can't see it because of all the clutter.  I don't want to have to pay for a new card until I'm sure.  

Movies:

Let Me In  
      I already saw "Let the Right One In."  This was pretty much the same.  Maybe slightly sadder somehow.

Cloud Atlas  
      Absolutely loved it.  I saw this the first week in January and it may very well end up being the best movie I'll see all year.  I went back to watch it an additional two times.  And that's saying something because my car was out of commission and it's a forty minute walk to the theater.  Plus it's winter.  The trailer alone I've watched at least twenty times.  I thought it was an amazingly ambitious achievement in film and if you disagree, then fuck you.

Top Hat  

Hotel Transylvania  
      I liked this a lot more than I thought I would.  Adam Sandler's Dracula made for a way more sympathetic vampire than the ones in those Sookie Stackhouse books my sister gave me last year.  I felt pretty jazzed walking out of the theater.  It was the same sort of feeling I got after seeing "Aladdin" for the first time, though I didn't think it was quite as good as that movie(and the music definitely wasn't as good).  Genndy Tartakovsky's style translates remarkably well to CG.  I'm very interested in seeing what he does with Popeye.

The Wolf Man (1941)  
      It's weird... I think I've viewed every sequel to this movie, including the one with Abbott and Costello, but I never caught the original until now.  I was interested in seeing Larry Talbot before he became all whiny and suicidal, though it turns out he wasn't much more likable prior to being cursed either.  I don't know if he was supposed to be charming, but his defining characteristic seemed to be that of a creepy stalker.
     
Skyfall
     The James Bond franchise isn't my favorite.  Not that I don't like James Bond movies, but I often find them forgettable.  Also, I'm not sure Bond is a guy I could stand in real life.  Nevertheless, this was a very good installment in that series.

I mentioned a few journals back how I've got this irritating yellow bar perpetually placed at the top of the page, informing me I should upgrade my browser to access deviantART, which is impossible for me because my computer is too out of date.  In spite of that, aside from a couple little things, this site hasn't given me too much grief.

Then the submission process changed.

I find I'm still able to submit stuff from my computer if I upload it to Sta.sh first.  I don't know why this is.  Whatever; it works.  But I'm having some related difficulties.  

Call me anal, but I often discover things I want to change about my art past the point I initially considered them to be finished, so it's not uncommon for me to edit deviations after they've been submitted, sometimes more than once.

Take my latest upload, for example:
       

It's a minor thing that probably nobody would even care about, but I came up with one small improvement that I'd like to make.  However, when I try to change the file, I just get this little green status bar that ostensibly indicates that the new file is being uploaded, but nothing happens.  When it wouldn't work on my computer, I tried it over at library, but with the same results, or lack of results, as the case may be.  Even though I don't get the same annoying message from dA about updating my browser over there, maybe the library's computers aren't modern enough for this site, either.  

I don't know what the solution is here.  I could delete the pic and upload the newer version, which I don't really want to do because it's gotten a couple nice comments, and comments are really precious to me.  The only other thing I can think of is giving someone I can trust my password and the pic and let them try to change the file for me.  

All I can say is, I'm gonna have to be pretty damn sure I'm as happy as I can be with my art before I upload anything in the future.

While I'm on the subject of changes to this site, I'm not so crazy about the "more like this" feature, at least as it pertains to my gallery.  Again, using my latest upload as an example,  most of the pics that are supposedly "like this" are drawings I did of  callipygous women from "Dexter's Lab."  I feel I should be safe to click on a totally innocuous pic I did of a cereal box design without these nude or semi-nude cartoons appearing right next to it.  It would have been pretty awkward if someone happened to be looking over my shoulder in the library right at that moment.

Or, to use another example, this cute little pic I did based on the Oz books:


According to this site, the pics that are like that are the remaining fetishistic works that I did not put into storage when I started my new account.  Well, this is making me question the wisdom in not putting everything in to storage that was the slightest bit kinky.

Part of my problem may be that I just tend to become dissatisfied with and embarrassed of my art rather quickly.  Also, there's not a whole lot of consistency to the subject matter of my gallery.  Maybe if I were doing more of certain stuff, this wouldn't be an issue.  I just really don't need people clicking on some fairy tale-type illustration and having dA telling them that if they want to see more like that, then they should really check out this pic of a guy in a lycra dress being led around on a leash.

Third and final update on the new movies I saw and the new books I read in 2012.  As I predicted, it was a lot easier to get through fifty movies in a year than it was to read as many books.  I saw well over fifty movies I hadn't seen before- enough that I don't even feel the need to list every single one because a few were just too crappy to mention.  On the other hand, I didn't come close to reaching that goal as far as books are concerned.  I only read thirty-two books last year.  Still, I don't think that's too shabby.  As my sister would say, that's thirty-two more books than a lot of people read in a year.  I'm not counting the books I illustrated, because I didn't really read them for pleasure and I'm not even positive I read any of them cover to cover.

Books:

Son of a Witch by Gregory Maguire
       I liked Wicked well enough, but this guy's style of prose is kind of a chore to read.  That isn't to say I disliked it.  I'm not sure how I feel about the book, in fact, or how the author wants me to feel about it. He definitely has a way with words; I'll give him that.

Tales Told in Oz by Gregory Maguire
       Someone less ambivalent about Maguire than me sent this to me just because they wanted to get rid of it.  Interesting little collection of short stories.  And I do mean little.  I think I may have accidentally swallowed it.

The Essential Dykes to Watch Out For by Alison Bechdel
       Compliation of 74% of this comic's run kind of makes me want to track down the other 26%.

Deadlocked by Charlaine Harris
       Finished this one just under the wire.  It's only been a few months since I read the previous book in the Southern Vampire series and I already was having a hell of a time trying to recall what had happened in it- a common problem whenever I read books that are in a series.  I think this is the most current installment, so it will probably be even longer before I read the next one, but it seemed like not a bad place to leave off for a while.

Movies:

Premium Rush

Ted

The Unforgiven
       Western starring Audrey Hepburn tries to tackle the subject of racism and then ends with the protagonists killing a bunch of Indians.


The next four movies are lesbian-themed.  How did that happen?  I watched one on YouTube and then other movies kept showing up in my list of video recommendations.  Add those to the Alison Bechdel comic collection and I exposed myself to an inordinate amount of lesbian stuff in the latter third of 2012.

Madchen in Uniform (1931)
       Surprisingly progressive movie for that era.

Butterfly (2004)

D.E.B.S star:
       "Disappointing Example of Bad Scriptwriting" or "Decent Escapism But Stupid." Girls in school uniforms kicking butt.  How do you screw that up?  I only give it the extra half-star because of the lesbian angle.  Otherwise, it feels like a lame Disney movie for tweens.

Between Two Women

Night of the Living Dead (1990)

       I saw bits of this before, but never the whole thing. I prefer this over the original, mainly because Barbara actually has some significant character growth; she develops a backbone and isn't completely useless throughout the entire film.  Also, I like the ending better.

Blood and Chocolate

Curse of the Werewolf
       Starts off really interesting in giving the history of the werewolf's parents, but the rest of the movie is not that great.

The Bourne Legacy

Paranorman
       Another one of those movies I wasn't excited about seeing that ended up surprising me.  It looked like a stop-motion Sixth Sense with zombies to me, but it had more intelligent and important stuff to say than I first imagined.

Tarantula
       Typical 50s giant insect movie.

Pitch Perfect

Looper
       That's Hooper!  Hooper!

A Simple Twist of Fate
       I guess Steve Martin had such success with "Roxanne," he thought he'd modernize another classic.  Watch the Ben Kingsley version of Silas Marner instead.  Or read the book.

Fullmetal Alchemist: Conqueror of Shamballa

       FMA is one of my favorite animes, so it's amazing how long it took me to watch this conclusion to the series.  I knew the library had a copy, but I didn't check anything out from there for a long time because I had a fine of $2.50 that I wasn't eager to pay.

Witness for the Prosecution
       Really droll.  The only flaw is that the movie tries to trick you in a way that's difficult to pull off on screen.  During the end credits, an announcer asks the audience not to give away the ending, but you'd have to be an idiot not to guess at least part of the twist.

Peter Pan (2003)
Possibly the best adaptation of Peter Pan.  I just don't like Peter as a character very much- I think he's an asshole.  I remember my dad reading the book to us and there was a line about how one of the titular character's favorite pastimes was flying around and slitting the throats of sleeping pirates.  Every boy's fantasy.  Ifyou're a psychopath.

Wendy and Lucy
       Good movie that I don't want to see again.  I knew it was going to harsh my mellow, to put it mildly.  I was prepared to watch "Singin' in the Rain" immediately afterward in order to balance out my mood.  I was terrified to watch this movie for the same reason I was terrified to watch "Tokyo Godfathers."  Both films are about people who have slipped through the cracks of society.  Viewing something like that is probably not too good for my mental well-being.  Let's just say I'm not so secure that I don't worry that that couldn't happen to me.  But where "Tokyo Godfathers" turned out to be a charming fable and is my favorite movie I watched this year, "Wendy and Lucy" gave a depressing, unflinching view of what happens when you have nothing.  Watching something like that makes me feel like I'm taking a look at my own possible future.  "Wendy and Lucy" is an important sort of story, but all it made me want to do is slit my wrists before things have a chance to get too bad.  What a way to end the year.  If you want to watch a feel-good (though admittedly less realistic) movie that deals with homelessness, watch "Tokyo Godfathers" instead.

I haven't heard back yet about that rape drawing I reported as being in violation of dA's policies.  However, I did get a note regarding one of my own works that someone reported.  Apparently, somebody felt that my pic "Blowjobs for Jesus" was in need of a mature content tag and the member of staff that reviewed it was in agreement.  



I ain't bovvered, though.  It just strikes me as weird because the only thing about that pic that could be called dirty is the titular phrase and the mature content filter does nothing to obscure titles from immature eyes.  I think the real story here is that I upset someone's delicate religious sensibilities, which I just find kind of amusing.  To me, the worst thing about that pic is that it isn't very good.  More like a sketch of an idea than a finished piece.  I didn't think it was even good enough to waste my time coloring it.  Perhaps I should try drawing it again.

*********************

Let me start of by saying, based on the results of my latest poll, approximately 30% of you can bite me.  To recap, about a week ago, I spotted a drawing on dA depicting a rape, which I naturally found offensive, as I hope any decent person would.  Not only that, but it's an obvious violation of dA's policies.  Some of the rules here may be stupid, but I happened to think that that pic was definitely worth reporting.  

Complicating matters was that I couldn't report it specifically for containing explicit sexual content because somebody had already reported it for that very thing.  Apparently, the artist had sneakily gotten around the rules by originally uploading a drawing with a partially clothed victim in which it could be argued that no sex was occurring, but once a moderator had deemed it acceptable, it had been replaced with a far less ambiguous nude version.    

If I wasn't upset enough, when I tried complaining about this during a chat session with someone I considered a friend, not only did he think I was overreacting to someone's "fap material," he completely trivialized my feelings by linking me to a jpg of a smirking Willy Wonka with the caption, "So, the internet is serious business, is it?  You must be new here."  It might have been funny to him, but I felt like throwing my computer out the window at that point.  Then I started that poll to see what others think.  Maybe that was a bad idea, because I'm not happy knowing that there's a fair percentage of you taking his side.

Excuse me for finding rape deplorable.  This shouldn't even be up for debate, so it's really disheartening to me to see how many people don't give a shit, let alone the numbers that appear to get off on it.  I saw a video on YouTube of a couple of hot girls working out, and one of the top rated comments read, "Anyone wanna go halfsies on a rape conviction?"  WTF is wrong with society?  And don't get me started on the bonehead things Republicans have said about rape in the past few months either (actually, maybe I shouldn't complain too much about that since that kind of crap probably helped things turn out favorably in the elections).

I understand that there's a difference between fantasies and reality and that not everyone would necessarily act on said fantasies.  I just can't fathom the mentality of someone who would derive pleasure at the thought of violating another human being like that.

I'm not exactly proud of my own sexual quirks.  I've even had rape fantasies of my own.  However, in them, I'm the one getting raped (by women), not the other way around. At least I'm not fantasizing about hurting people.  

About the only positive thing to come out of all this is that it got me drawing again after a long dry spell.  I had owed my so-called friend a commission for months, and after our conversation, I finished his pics in nearly record time, just so I would no longer feel obligated to him.   He can try commissioning someone else in the future.  Jerk never paid me nearly enough anyway.

I also felt motivated to do something I've been meaning to do for years, which is get a new AOL username.  I never liked the old one, but after a while, it hardly seemed worth changing since I only use it when I chat on AIM anyway.  It almost seems pointless registering for a new one now since I have no one to chat with.  I can't say that I have a great history of forging meaningful communication with anyone from this site.  Most of the times I've tried chatting with people I know through dA, either it turns out we have nothing in common and/or they clearly find me so dull that they never want to talk to me again.  I'm almost as terrible at making friends online as I am in real life.  But on the off-chance that anyone is interested, the new username is rocketdaveX.  Naturally, rocketdave was already taken.

A memey type of thing I stole from .

1.Why did you join DeviantART?
I was desperate to find someplace I could share my art and get feedback on it.   was the one who first introduced me to the site.

2.What does your username have to do with you?
I guess it ties in with my love of science fiction.  And/or my love of Team Rocket.

3.What is your current avatar of?
The devilish Lolita-esque character from this piece:

I wish I'd done a better job with those rose bushes or whatever they're supposed to be.

4.How many watchers do you have, and how many do you watch?
150 people and groups on my watch list.
1,341 watchers.  Only about 7% of those are active watchers, based on a poll from last year.

5.Do you have more than one account?

I'm secretly also =MDetector5.  Shh, don't tell anyone.

6.Name 3 of your favorite artists on DA.
I have such a tough time picking my favorite anything.

7.What deviant do you admire because of their personality?
*Armando-Huerta  lol, jk.  Seriously, what an ass.  Skilled artist, no question, but the dude has issues.  That guy is like the Charlie Sheen of deviantART.  Scratch that- Charlie Sheen actually has more class.  If you don't know what I'm talking about, this jerk recently bragged about having launched an unprovoked string of crude and homophobic insults at a popular deviant just because he didn't like their art.  Being talented doesn't forgive a shitty personality.

8.How many deviants do you actually know in reality? Post their avatars.
None.  I spoke with ~LaughingMan008 exactly once on the phone; that's the closest I've come to interacting with anyone on this site without the aid of a computer.  It's possible there could be people on this site that I once knew in real life, but I have no clue.

9.Do you comment, fave, or both?
I try to do both.  I don't like to fav something without commenting on it as well.  I should be complimented when someone favs my work, but when they don't say anything, it doesn't mean much to me.  So, that's why I try to comment.  Sometimes I forgo commenting if I see something already has a lot of comments and/or if I see that the artist is not in the habit of responding to comments.  I don't have a ton of favs; I'm very selective about what I'll add to my favorites.  Maybe a little too selective.  I'm prejudiced against people who just seem to fav everything in sight; it makes it seem like they're not really putting any thought into it.

10.What do you typically post on deviantart?
Um, art?  And boring, rambling journal entries that nobody reads.

11.Do you participate in clubs or contests here on DA?
Sometimes, but not that often nowadays.

12.What is your most popular deviation?
Cartoon Milf Island:

81,154 views as of this moment

13.What's your favorite submission in your gallery?
It's so hard to choose; I hate them all.  Kidding.  Kinda.  I am still rather proud of the work I did on the aforementioned "Cartoon Milf Island" piece.

14.What are the things you wish you could draw better?
Everything.

15.Do you have Premium Membership?
At the moment, yes, thanks to some kind anonymous person.

16.How many hours a day do you spend on DA?
Several.  Often, at least half that time is spent just obsessively checking to see if I have any new comments.

17.Are you a fast, slow, or medium typer?
A little faster than average, I think.

18.What is the most annoying thing people ask you?
On this site?  I used to get really irritated when people would demand updates on the status of their requests.  That's part of the reason why I've mostly stopped taking requests.  If I'm being commissioned, then that person is perfectly entitled to know how the art they're paying for is coming along, but if I'm doing something for free, pestering me like I owe them something is a good way to earn my ire.  On a related note, I may as well use this opportunity to apologize for my slowness to people who are currently waiting for commissions; I feel like such a jerk.  

19.What is the most annoying/offending comment you've received?
There was this pathetic closet case who left me a few comments and notes that indicated he was either very confused about his sexuality or was simply getting his kicks by pretending to be confused or possibly both.  Whichever it was, he clearly had something wrong with him.  

Though I made it plain I wasn't interested in whatever game he was playing, apropos of nothing, he described for me in very vulgar terms a sex act his imaginary girlfriend wanted him to perform, which caused me to immediately block him.  Examining his activity, I could see that he left similar inappropriate comments on many, many other deviants' art and photos.  You'd think after asking "are panties comfy?" for the two hundredth time, he might have either gotten his answer or figured out that questions like that weren't usually appreciated.  He's since been permanently banned, much to my delight.  

20.What/who inspires you?
I wish I knew so that I could get my inspiration back.

21.Do you use guidelines when you draw?
No.  That's something I've always sort of disdained for some reason; I guess I automatically considered it a cheat and felt I was above all that or something.  There are times when it seems like they might have come in handy, though.

(EDIT: I wasn't sure what this question was referring to at first, and I've inferred that others might have been confused by it as well, but what I assume they were asking about is when someone draws a skeletal framework, like a stick figure, before drawing the complete figure over it.  Or when they draw a head, first they draw an oval and bisect it with a couple of lines so that the facial features come out symmetrical. That sort of thing.)

22.Do you associate people on deviantART with their icons?
A lot of the time.  Many people, I can't even remember their user names; I just recognize the avatars.

23.Have you ever suggested a Daily Deviation?
No.

24.Everyone has considered leaving DA once or twice. Have you? Why?
Well, if "everyone" has, I would have had to as well, right?  I mean, I'm part of everyone, aren't I?  Though sometimes I wonder.  

Why have I considered leaving?  Various reasons.  For a long time, I was disappointed that I wasn't connecting with people or generating as much interest in my art as I hoped.  Then, once people really started taking notice, I felt sporadically resentful towards the following that I did develop.  Sometimes I feel like this site is too distracting and detrimental to my productivity.  Other times, seeing how many amazing artists are on this site, my self-esteem takes a nose dive.  

Occasionally, I've had this self-destructive impulse to just delete my account for reasons I can't even explain.  Sometimes I hate all my art and think it would be better to start over with a clean slate.  I've had similar thoughts about my life; maybe I should just burn all my belongings and move somewhere else and change my name.  

Lately, I've been faced with the possibility that I might eventually be forced to abandon this site against my will, because for the past year there's been a yellow bar at the top of the page telling me, "Please upgrade your browser to access deviantART."  Well, guess what; I can't upgrade my browser because my computer is just too damn out of date.  So far, deviantART has worked just fine for me regardless, with the exception of a couple little glitches, but if I ever get to the point where I can't upload art anymore, then I guess I'll have little choice but to give up this site, at least until things improve for me and I can afford a newer computer.  I'm so sorry, deviantART, that my five year old computer and I aren't good enough for you.

Sorry, I'm in worse mood than usual since it was just my birthday, which I haven't particularly enjoyed since I was in the third grade or so.  I'd like to thank everyone who has wished me a happy birthday, though.  Special thanks go to *jimsupreme, who was nice enough to surprise me with this pic he drew of my OC Bianca:

Update on my efforts to see fifty new movies and read fifty new books this year.  

Movies:

Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked
I hadn't planned on seeing this.  I haven't seen the other two movies.  Somebody uploaded a bootleg on YouTube, which I stumbled upon, and I ended up sitting through the whole thing.  Whatever.  It was fairly cute.  I know people are like, "They raped my childhood!" and so on, but didn't seem any worse than the show I grew up with in the 80s.  I like that the Chipmunks actually look like chipmunks now.    

The Son of Dracula
I guess somebody said, "Lon Chaney Jr's played every other monster; so he should play a Dracula, too," but playing some suave vampire count was hardly his strong suit.

The Cabin in the Woods

The Dark Knight Rises
Pretty good conclusion to the trilogy, but I think I'm ready for a somewhat more light-hearted Batman next time.

21 Jump Street
Too many dick jokes.  I don't know if I'd even call them jokes.  Just mentioning penises a couple hundred times doesn't equal hilarity.  

Brave
Perfectly good story, but kind of forgettable.

Moonrise Kingdom

Men in Black 3

Wonder Woman

Man With a Million

The Hunger Games

Janie Jones

Cedar Rapids

The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill But Came Down a Mountain

The King's Speech

I Want to Live!
Bummer.

The Avengers
I was underwhelmed.  What was Sean Connery thinking?  Ha ha, just kidding; I'm talking about the Marvel movie, of course- not the one with Uma Thurman and Ralph Fiennes based on the unrelated 60s series by that name.  Seriously, though, I'm happy for Joss Whedon's success and it's cool that a superhero team-up movie can be a huge hit, but I couldn't really get into The Avengers."  Maybe it didn't help that I hadn't seen more than half the movies leading up to it.  

The Amazing Spider-Man
I went into this not expecting much.  I was one of those people who wondered why we needed a Spider-Man reboot eleven years after the first one.  I liked Sam Raimi's Spider-Man movies- even the third one.  But I thought this was an overall improvement.  Andrew Garfield fits the character much better than Tobey Maguire, plus he and Emma Stone have way more chemistry than Maguire and Kirsten Dunst did, imho.  
______________________________________

Books:

The Patchwork Girl of Oz by L. Frank Baum
This is technically not a new book to me, but it's my first time ever reading it.  Our dad read it to us as kids and I barely remembered it.

Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Maguire
Another Oz book, but a very different sort.  Some people hate this book because it's such a dark and adult take on a beloved classic.  Others hate it because they love the musical and this is nothing like it.  I find that ironic because it sort of puts it in the same boat as L. Frank Baum's original book, both overshadowed by the musicals that they inspired.  Personally, I thought this was a pretty intelligent and thought-provoking work.  Or maybe I'm just easily impressed by a lot of three dollar words.    

The Sookie Stackhouse/ Southern Vampire Mysteries series by Charlaine Harris:
Dead Until Dark
Living Dead in Dallas
Club Dead
Dead to the World
Dead as a Doornail
Definitely Dead
All Together Dead
From Dead to Worse
Dead and Gone
Dead in the Family
Dead Reckoning

The books upon which the TV show "True Blood" is based.  While I was reading "Wicked," my sister was reading all these.  Then she mailed them to me, even though I wasn't convinced I'd want to read them.   Well, she sent me the first nine and I had to to check out the next two from the library.  I felt slightly chagrined that she got through at least nine books in the time it took me to read just one, but she is a faster reader than I, plus "Wicked" is a fairly dense novel.  These, on the other hand, are really, really quick reads.  I have the uncomfortable feeling they might qualify as chick lit and the main character strikes me as something of a Mary Sue, but they're entertaining fluff nonetheless.  My sister described them as terribad.  They're definitely not great literature, but they're not badly written or anything.  I do feel like some of the themes aren't explored as well as they could be, though.  Now I'm a little curious about watching "True Blood" to see how it compares.

Tagged by
Rules:
1. You have to post these rules.
2. Each person has to post five things about themselves in their journal.
3. Answer the tagger's questions, then make 11 new questions for the people you tagged.
4. You have to tag 11 people and you have to post their icons in your journal.
5. You need to go to their page and notify them that you've tagged them.
6. Tag backs are a no-no.
7. "You're tagged if you read this" is also a no-no. You have to tag them like the rules say.
8. You have to post a link on this of your version so that the person who tagged you can read your answers!!!


Five things about myself:

1.  I have barely thrown out any of my gum in the past year or so.  I've developed the habit of sticking it back on the wrapper and storing it in my desk drawer or using it to make crude sculptures.
2.  I feel like I've waited all week just to see the trailer for "Oz the Great and Powerful" and I was not let down.
3.  I think men should be barred from wearing sandals or going barefoot in public.  Ugh.
4.  My car won't start and I'm trying to work up the nerve to speak to my mechanic about it even though I know it's fairly important that I get it working again.
5.  I always secretly wish more people would tag me for stuff like this, but now I'm annoyed that I have to answer all these questions  

's Questions:

1. What's your favorite 'guilty pleasure' movie?
Define "guilty pleasure."  I like a few TV shows that would fit that description, but I'm not so sure about movies.  There are movies I like that I know aren't everyone's cup of tea or that aren't exactly masterpieces, but that doesn't mean I feel embarrassed about liking them.  Unless you're talking about something like "Femalien" or "The Erotic Witch Project."  Or "The Happy Hooker Goes Hollywood."  That certainly qualified as my favorite guilty pleasure movie when I was 13, though I don't think I ever sat through the whole thing; just certain parts.  I actually felt so guilty about watching that movie that I taped over it.  Because no one ever talked about it with me, I had a very unhealthy attitude about sex.
2. On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to wolf with the red roses? (5 points for anyone who gets the reference)
WTF?!?
3. Name 3 Deviants you want to meet in person.
I don't want to meet any.  I'm ascared of people.
4. What program do you use for drawing/colouring?
Photoshop Elements.
5. Do you have a soft spot for cute things? (Fess up!)
Sure.  But not babies.  They're like little morons who can't even use the bathroom.  
6. What's the weirdest dream you've ever had? (I'll draw the weirdest one)
"What man can remember his own dreams?"  (You like confusing people with obscure references, huh?  Let's see if you get that reference, mister smartypants.  Ha!)  
I had a dream last night that I was in a dilapidated house that was built on a frozen lake.  That was kind of weird.  I honestly don't know what the weirdest dream I ever had was.  I know the first one that jumps to my mind, but you don't need to know about that.
7. What's favorite/least favorite music genre?
Favorite: 3rd wave ska.  Least favorite: country
8. What's your favorite Disney movie?
I dunno, there are so many good ones.  Let's say... "Aladdin."
9. Biggest pet peeve?
Disruptive people in movie theaters.
10. What's one thing you can do that your friends can't?
What friends?
11. What do you think of 's art? (Sorry, ran out of questions)
It's okay.  I admire that he's actually found some minor success with the cartooning thing, which is a dream I've given up on.

You know what?  Screw the rules for this thing.  I'm not going to bother making up new questions because I'm not going to tag anyone.  I can't think of eleven people on this site that I feel comfortable enough to bother with this nonsense.

In January, my sister showed me this website  that is challenging people to read fifty new books and watch fifty new movies in 2012.  I didn't think I could commit myself to that since my future has felt so tenuous for a while.  Heck, I could be dead by the end of the year for all I know.  However, I've kept that challenge in mind and have kept track of what I've read and watched, so one might say I'm informally participating.  I figured I might as well list the books and movies I've gone through so far.

Books:

Tess of the D'urbervilles by Thomas Hardy
 Downer, but well written.

The Final Deduction by Rex Stout
  My first Nero Wolfe mystery.

The Cat-Nappers by P.G. Wodehouse
Coincidentally, Nero Wolfe is quoted in this book.  Last book Wodehouse completed and far from his best.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine- Mission Gamma
  Book 2: This Gray Spirit
  Book 3: Cathedral
  Book 4: Lesser Evil
Andorians are really annoying.  At least the ones in these books are.

My Enemy, My Ally by Diane Duane
Another Star Trek novel.  I quite like Duane's interpretation of Romulans (or Rihannsu as she calls them), though it's all since been contradicted by canon.

The Way I See It by Patti Davis
I now hate Nancy Reagan.

Vatta's War series by Elizabeth Moon
  Trading in Danger
  Marque and Reprisal
  Engaging the Enemy
  Command Decision
  Victory Conditions
Had me hooked from practically the first page, which most books don't do, particularly science fiction.

M is for Malice by Sue Grafton
It's been a long time since I've read a Kinsey Millhone mystery.  I always liked Grafton's eye for detail, but the mystery here was ridiculously easy to figure out.

Cemetary World by Clifford Simak
Simak restored my interest in sci-fi at one point, but this time his folksy tone really got on my nerves.
__________________________________

Movies:

It Could Happen to You
Been kind of wanting to see this for the last eighteen years.

The Killers(1946)  

Drive  

Hugo  
I was expecting a fantasy movie about a robot.
    
Black Swan  
Reminded me a lot of Satoshi Kon's "Perfect Blue," which prompted me to rent another of Kon's movies...  

Tokyo Godfathers  
I've been putting off seeing this because I thought a movie about homeless people would be too anxiety-inducing, but this is my favorite of the films I've seen so far this year.

Paprika  

Sherlock Holmes in a Game of Shadows
Better than I anticipated.

Amelie

The Adventures of Tintin  

Dorothy and the Witches of Oz  
Would be the worst movie listed here except for the next one.

The Scarecrow of Oz  
Impressive in that it was put together by amateur animators, but not easy to sit through.

The Captains  
Mostly entertaining documentary in which Bill Shatner talks to the other Star Trek captains, has a phony epiphany and Avery Brooks is on drugs.
  
The Descendants  
Quite funny in a lot of places, but also kinda painful if you've gone through something similar.  I could practically smell that hospital room.

Another Earth  

Making Mr. Right  

John Carter
Too bad this was a box office disappointment.  I feel the only thing really wrong with it is that in the time it took for technology to reach the point where this could be done in live action, decades of science fiction have been referencing the source material, and consequently, it doesn't feel so original anymore.

Speaking of Mars and books, and because I've been driven to mention death in every journal entry lately, I may as well note the passing of Ray Bradbury, but I'm tired and had to type this journal twice because my power went out and I can't think of anything else to say.

So, I read Maurice Sendak died and all I can say is good riddance- Just kidding!  Though I'm actually more broken up over the cancellation of "Ringer" at the moment.  Some may remember me recently speaking pretty disrespectfully about Thomas Kinkade after he died.  I don't really care about Thomas Kinkade; I just hate his art.  I belated recalled this Dennis Leary routine in which he said he was glad Jim Henson was dead and I'd hate to think I was crossing a line into that level of asshattery.  The difference there, though, is that unlike Kinkade, Jim Henson didn't go around groping women or urinating on statues at Disney Land.  

One might think I'd be inclined to be a bit more sympathetic after learning cause of death was from an accidentally fatal combination of of drugs and alcohol, but I'd already assumed something along those lines to begin with.  What was news to me was that he was supposedly on anti-anxiety medication in part because he wasn't taken seriously in the art world.  Seems a bit daft considering there were scads of people who thought his stuff was simply marvelous (and that's what really pisses me off about the guy).  On the other hand, I can kind of understand, seeing that there are a fair number of people who seem to like my art (or portions of it anyway) and yet it doesn't seem to make me much happier.

I wanted to give a shout out to , who chose to do this pic of my OC Bianca recently:


As I told him, it was probably the nicest surprise I've had in a while.  I can count on one hand the amount of gift art I've received in my seven years on dA.  Though, as I always point out, the amount of original work I've produced has been pitiful, so it's not like I've done anything that's captured the imagination of others.  Also, I've more or less failed to form any close connections with anyone on this site, so again, I wouldn't normally expect anyone to go out of their way to do anything like that.

The first example of anything approaching gift art that I ever got was from the artist formerly known as ~bluesonnet.  He drew the OCs of a number of his watchers.  The closest thing I had to original creations in my gallery at the time were Cody and Regan, who I hadn't even formally named.


did this drawing of Bianca as a request because I won some contest of his.  I told him to draw her however he wanted.


This doesn't really count as gift art, but I participated in 's Project Double Take" once, in which deviants were randomly assigned to redraw each others art and ~iadamska came up with this:


Art trade with

Apparently, someone calling themselves ~rocketXpert has been pretending to be me and uploading some of my art to their gallery...  Nah, I'm just kidding; that's my alt account, if you weren't already aware.  

As far as I know, nobody has stolen my work.  That's the reason most people write these types of journals; either they or someone they know has had their work stolen.  As for me, an art thief has come to my attention, but while it's obvious that most of the stuff in his gallery belongs to various other people,I can't even identify most of the people he's clearly stolen from, so I guess I'm just being a great big buttinski by making it my business.  

People who treat deviantART like their personal flickr account or whatever really irritate me.  The thing that causes me to feel like I'm being kind of a jerk by trying to get the guy in trouble, though, is that I don't think he's posted the work of others with malicious intent.  However, he's been on dA long enough to be aware that he's in violation of its rules, and in fact, he's even made it one of his own personal "rules" that visitors to his page aren't supposed to leave comments inquiring about the legality of the pics he's posted.  So, clearly, others have mentioned this to him and he either doesn't comprehend or doesn't care.  

I guess it's the blatant flouting of the rules that bugs me most.  That, and the fact that he thinks he can deter criticism of his rule-breaking by making a rule about it.  So, if that kind of thing bothers you too and you feel it's worth your time reporting his uploads to the mods, be my guest: [link]

________________________________________


Saw "The Descendants" with my brother tonight.  I think we both had a good time, but I felt a little bad for suggesting that movie- if you've had any experience pulling the plug on a family member, it does hit pretty close to home.  I could practically smell the hospital room in the theater.  Well, it was either that or "Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol," and he'd already seen it and I hadn't seen the previous Mission Impossible movies, so I was afraid I'd be hopelessly lost.  I'm being sarcastic about that last part.

So, I read Thomas Kinkade died, and felt a sense of satisfaction I didn't even come close to feeling when Osama bin Laden was killed.  I know it seems pretty terrible, celebrating someone's death just because I don't like their work, but considering the fact that he was an unscrupulous, egotistical drunk, I don't feel all that bad about it.  Personality aside, I can't remember any other artist whose work I've had such an immediate dislike for.  I'm not an art scholar or the most articulate person on the planet, so it's not easy for me to clearly explain exactly why his paintings nauseate me so much.  That's not hyperbole either; looking at his art literally turns my stomach.  The guy took what should have been quaint, picturesque scenes and made them cloying and creepy.  The environments in his paintings looked about as natural as a neon sign.  I can't help imagining that his little "cozy" cottages were inhabited by zombie-like Hummel figurines and his churches were where they gathered to worship Cthulhu.  Unfortunately, though the man may be dead, he'll continue to live on through his awful, awful art.

So, I recently got a note from someone asking why I'd blocked them.  My response was that if I'd blocked them,  they wouldn't have been able to send me a note.  What actually happened was they'd left a couple comments on my gallery and I'd hidden them, along with my replies to said comments, and since you can't reply to a hidden comment, it led to the erroneous conclusion on their part that I'd blocked them for something they'd said.

My reasons for hiding the comments were twofold.  First, they mentioned a fetish of theirs, and I'm trying to keep topics of that nature to a minimum here now- that's why I set up my new account.  And if you didn't know I set up a new account, I announced it a few weeks ago in a journal entry titled "Announcement," but if you didn't read that journal, you're probably not reading this one either, so I don't know why I'm bothering to include that reminder here.

The other reason I hid those comments was simply due to the fact that I don't especially like getting comments on my gallery for some reason.  I know it seems churlish to complain about positive feedback just because of where it's left, which is why I've never said anything about it before, but since it came up, I may as well address it.  

I appreciate getting comments, whether it's on my profile page, under specific pieces or via note.  It just rubs me slightly the wrong way when people want to leave comments directly under my gallery, though, and the only explanation I can come up with as to why I feel that way is because when someone does that, it's like they're making themselves a permanent part of your gallery, whether you like it or not.  
Hopefully, that makes some sort of sense.  Or maybe my line of reasoning just seems weird.  I'm aware of one deviant who hides every comment they get on their profile page, no matter how innocuous.  To me, that's weird, but I guess we all have our quirks.  

Sorry if this is a boring topic.  I haven't been very productive art-wise lately due to my feeling more depressed and tired than usual.  I hope to get out of my current slump soon.  I managed to produce a couple small pieces of art recently, so that feels like a step in the right direction at least.

I'm a bit more bummed out than usual at present because I just learned yesterday that my favorite movie theater, the Times, went out of business at the start of this month.  About the best way I know to describe the place would be a slightly shabbier version of the titular theater from the Capraesque Jim Carrey movie "The Majestic."  It used to show a lot of older movies and more obscure films and documentaries and midnight cult movies.  Also, the occasional burlesque show.  I haven't been going there as often as I used to because of money issues, but now I'm sorry I didn't make it there at least one last time.  I was actually definitely planning on going there this weekend because it was supposed to be hosting An Evening With Don Hertzfeldt, the animator behind "Rejected" and "Billy's Balloon," among others, so the timing really stinks.  This is the second time I've missed seeing him in person.  I had wondered why their online schedule suddenly stopped at the end of February.  Well, that was pretty much my last reason for liking living near Milwaukee, so if I were presented with a an excuse for moving far away, I wouldn't bat an eye.

Maybe I'll take the money I would have spent seeing Don Hertzfeldt and spend it on a movie.  I am kind of curious about "John Carter."

Speaking of money, I just found out my rent is being raised by ten dollars.  The thing is, from reading the notice, I realized I've been mistakenly paying five dollars more than I should have been, probably since the last time it went up a year ago.  Oddly, my landlord never informed me of my error.  You can bet I'd know about it if I had been paying less than I was supposed to.

The results of my latest poll about shoplifting are interesting.  Seems there are an equal number of crooks and honest people.  I consider myself pretty honest, but I used to take the odd thing from where I used to work if it was going to get thrown out anyway.  And now I occasionally sneak some inexpensive item out of a nearby store as some childish act of retribution because they put the place where I worked out of business.  So, I guess I'm a crook, but if someone had been overpaying me on rent, I would have let them know.

After much consideration, and thanks to the advice of several people, I've arrived at a decision that's been a long time coming.  *rocketdave will no longer be in the business of fetish artwork.  I will also soon be deleting or placing into storage most pics of that nature from my gallery, so if there's anything you want to save, you may want to do that sooner rather than later.


Not to fret, however.  I will be re-uploading most of that stuff to a new account I've created exclusively for more licentious content- something I should have done from the beginning.

Basically, the 98% of you who watch me just for the kinkier art will probably want to to shift your attention to ~rocketXpert from now now on.

It's not that I resent the modest amount of popularity it's brought or that I'm sick of drawing that sort of thing.  As previously indicated, I'm just unhappy with the way my fetishy art threatens to overwhelm everything else, so if I put some space between the two, it'll just be one less thing stressing me out.  Thanks in advance for your understanding.

*******************************************************

Oh, yeah, and on an unrelated note, I'm a bit behind the 8-ball here, but I belatedly realized that apparently some anonymous person bought me a year's premium membership, so thank you for that, mysterious stranger, whoever you are.

In my last journal, I mentioned some of the head cases I've had to deal with in my time here and how I'd need a whole journal to cover that topic.  Actually, there's one specific person who has been such a nuisance, he practically merits an entry entry all by himself.  This guy's barrage of rambling comments were so painful to read, I eventually had to block him.  Evidently, that wasn't enough of a hint, 'cause he just came back with a different user name and picked up where he left off.  So, I finally took the direct approach and told him flat out to knock it off because I was just going to keep hiding his comments.  Here's what I said:

"I normally like getting comments, but not from people who can't spell or use punctuation, who go endlessly on about how much they want to be a girl, and who write nonsensical and inappropriate text to accompany their wrongheaded ideas about my art."

His response:

"just fine but than when you boil the whole idea of this deviant art site it is suppose to be ablout and oft boys who wear dresses and that is really not to hard to understand if it were anything else then you jsut might ahve an argument if ti were titled boys in art or something differrnt but it is not

it is called boys in dresses so why cna't i comment the way i want to"

He goes on and on from there, but I won't inflict you with the rest.  Suffice to say, he uses the phrase "boys in dresses" 5 more times.  I don't know where he got that phrase from because it says that nowhere in any of my art.  Yeah, I have drawn some boys in dresses, but that's hardly what deviantART is about and it's not all I'm about either, as much as that might shock some people.

This guy's comments came at an inconvenient time, as I was already feeling pretty down about the way my reputation for drawing fetishistic stuff has completely taken over people's perceptions.  And it's not like I'm sorry about some of the opportunities it's brought, but I wish I'd been smarter and set up a different account for that sort of thing from the start, but I didn't realize how it was going to just absolutely overshadow everything else.

deviantART isn't the only place I'm registered as rocketdave, but now I'm afraid I've completely ruined that name.  I wanted to send my sister a YouTube video the other day, but I became paranoid that if she saw, "rocketdave has sent you a video" in the email's subject line, she might guess that I might be using that name elsewhere and look me up here.

Coincidentally, I saw dA is doing a poll asking people if they'd change their user name if they had the option.  I'd like to continue being rocketdave, but not with the current associations that name seems to have garnered.  The way I'm feeling at the moment, I'd rather rocketdave be the guy who just draws boring art nobody cares about and let someone else be the person who does fetishistic art that attracts creeps who want to tell you about how they hate having a penis.

EDIT:   wins the kirban, apparently.  Many combolations, Elizagerth.  Oddly, he won the last one as well.  Sorry if anyone else was really hoping to get it.  If I do another one at 300,000, I'll limit it to people who haven't already won a request because it doesn't seem entirely fair to everyone else.
___________________________________
You know the drill.  If you're the 250,000th visitor, you get a free request.  Within reason.  Nothing overly elaborate.  And I'm not drawing something I don't want to draw.

A while ago, I got someone trying to request that I draw some complicated scenario that would have taken at least a two page comic to realize, simply based on their claim that "everyone" would enjoy it.  I'm pretty skeptical when someone acts as though they're making a request for altruistic reasons.  Maybe some of those people genuinely do believe their idea will be popular, though I think they often have a warped view of what constitutes "mass appeal."  Ultimately, however, they're really making a request just because it's something they want to see.  Nothing wrong with that- it just feels dishonest to try to sell it like they're doing the artist a favor by suggesting it.

When I first joined this site, I was way too willing to field requests, but I've learned it's usually not worth it, unless I really like the person or the idea.  As recent as last year, out of boredom, I did a couple odd requests where I barely got a "thank you."  One person just said, "thank."  (I think English was a 2nd language in that case, but still.)

Anyway, I told this guy I'd do his idea for a price, and as expected, he balked.  He even called me "crazy."  I've often thought I must have a screw loose somewhere, but I don't think one of the indicators is a lack of enthusiasm at drawing stuff for complete strangers.

I think everyone is a little crazy... some more than others.  I've certainly had to deal with a few extreme cases during my time here, but this journal would grow three or four times as long as it is already if I tried elaborating any further.

EDIT: Oops, here I'm offering to do a kiriban and this journal may give the impression that I really hate requests or something.  My point was really just that requests are fine once in a while, but it gets to me when people try to take advantage of my generosity.  Or something.  I don't know; I had intended to talk about something completely different, but I tend to go off on tangents.    

Incidentally, in case you missed it, two books I illustrated happened to both come out last week.  Here are the links to them again.

[link]

[link]

First off, I just want to thank again for buying a 3 month premium membership for me; that was incredibly nice of him.

I hope everyone had a decent xmas or whatever it is they celebrate.  I previously declared I wasn't looking forward to the holiday, but I ended up visiting my relatives- mainly my grandmother, who is doing a lot better than the last time I saw her, so it was way less depressing than I imagined it would be.

I was really hoping I'd have something positive to write about by the end of this year, but I've got absolutely nothing.  At the start of 2011, I just wanted to crawl into bed with the covers over my head and I feel like I've been there ever since.  I remember the dismay I felt looking out the window and seeing leaves on the trees, realizing spring had snuck up on me without me having accomplished a single thing.  That feeling has now stretched to encompass the entire year.  I saw the title of this manga which seemed to perfectly sum up my life: "I'll Give it My All... Tomorrow."  Without getting into specifics, social anxiety, depression and possibly also genuine laziness have really pushed me into an untenable position.  If things don't start to turn around for me pretty damn soon, I don't know what I'm gonna do.  To that end, here are my New Year's resolutions:

1. Read less/ watch more TV            
2. Spend less time with friends and family
3. Take up smoking
4. Gain weight
5. Exercise less
6. Take up drinking
7. Get completely disorganized
8. Enter into serious debt
9. Make other people's lives miserable
10. Forgot a word every day