Shop More Submit  Join Login
×

More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
July 2
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
3,725
Favourites
1 (who?)
Comments
11
×
Yesterday I ran into the lady who lives in the apartment next to mine, who told me that since I'm so rarely seen out and about, her son has speculated that I might a murderer.  That's what they always say about murderers, right?  He was so quiet and kept to himself.  Gee whiz, I always hoped I might someday grow up to be the spooky loner that kids speak of in hushed tones. Apparently, I'm the Boo Radley of my apartment building.  While many of those in the law profession attribute their choice of career to reading To Kill a Mockingbird when they were young and/or watching the movie version with Gregory Peck, I bet far fewer ever go up to Robert Duvall and tell him that his performance in that film inspired them to become the creepy neighborhood shut-in.

:iconbooradleyplz:

I'm reminded of an incident a few months ago where I stepped outside, and another neighbor's little girl took one look at me and ran the other way while literally crying for her mommy.  At the time, I figured the kid was just skittish around strangers, but now I have to wonder if I'm giving off some kind of vibe.  

:iconsenorcardgageplz:

It probably doesn't help my image now that I have a hook for a hand, following a recent vicious dog attack.  It's sure been detrimental to my drawing ability, I'll tell you that much.  At least now you know why I haven't been uploading any art lately.  Okay, I made up the part about the dog biting off my drawing hand; the boring reason is that I'm in another one of my ruts

Seriously, I think I'd make a pretty lousy murderer.  I'd probably get caught because I'd be too lazy to clean up the blood or too cheap to buy shovels and other tools I might need to properly dispose of the body. I mean, sure, maybe I wouldn't mind killing someone once, just to see what it's like- ideally a bad person in self defense.  Who wouldn't, amirite?  But knowing me, if I ever really did take a life, it would probably be through sheer incompetence or stupidity.  Maybe I'd grievously injure them first, by accident, then decide in a fit of panic it would be easier to put them out of their misery and try to cover things up rather than call 911 and face the consequences.  Yikes, maybe it's a good thing I stay away from other people as much as possible.   
 
It's not by chance that my neighbor hardly ever sees me- I actively avoid her.  It's possible she's an okay person, but something about her seems a little off to me; she's kind of intense and is always a little too all up in everyone's bidness.   Maybe she's the murderer!  The reason she happened to see me yesterday was because I was clearing the junk out of my car before they came to tow it away.  

A week and a half ago, I got pulled over because my muffler was too loud (and my plates had expired in May).  I was given ten days to have the problem fixed.  Since it would have cost more to fix the car than it was worth, and I couldn't afford the repairs in any case, I sold it to an auto salvage place instead.  I've been mostly walking everywhere for a while now anyway.  

What I was paid barely covers the fines, but if I hadn't been forced into making a decision, i probably would have continued to hang onto the car, which has been causing me stress almost since the day I bought it four years ago, until it finally broke down and stranded me somewhere, so I keep trying to tell myself that this is a positive thing.  I get so nervous talking to people, I wouldn't have taken the initiative to spend a couple hours on the phone calling places that might take my car off my hands if I hadn't been afraid that jackbooted thugs would break down my door and arrest me if I didn't.  That would really have given the neighbors something to talk about. 

Dammit, I just remembered I left a dead AT&T U-verse salesman in the trunk.  Oh, well!
  • Mood: Worried
  • Watching: Anything with Claire Danes
  • Eating: sunflower seeds
  • Drinking: water
Add a Comment:
 
:iconlacentickles:
lacentickles Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2014
Wait...you mean to say you're NOT A SERIAL KILLER!!!! Oh man, I was totally certain you were...well that just takes all the fun out of following you, now that the cool factor of following a serial killer is gone....:)
Reply
:iconrocketdave:
rocketdave Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2014
Yet!  I'm not a serial killer yet!  Who knows what the future may bring, right?  Who would you like me to kill?  Just as long as it's not one of my watchers; I don't think I can afford to lose any more of those.
Reply
:iconlacentickles:
lacentickles Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2014
Hmmmmm, now I have the power to end somebodies life!!! This is cool, I'll have to think, who do I hate the most.....

:)
Reply
Hidden by Owner
:iconrocketdave:
rocketdave Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2014
Sorry, don't feel dumb; that was my lame attempt at humor.  I guess I'm not very funny.  Hey, I appreciate the sympathy anyway.  Sure, I'll hide the comment.  FYI, I think we can hide our own comments now, even when they're not on our own page.  I've been noticing whenever I comment on people's work, the little hide/unhide button appears in the corner of my comment.  I have no idea how long this has been a feature; it may be recent.  I had to ask someone to hide one of my comments a couple months ago or so, which I was embarrassed to do, and now I'm wondering if I even had to bother in the first place or if I could have just hidden it myself.
Reply
:iconcrossdressprincess:
CrossdressPrincess Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
well, what do you know, we can :) i think it was recent they added this
Reply
:iconcrossdressprincess:
CrossdressPrincess Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thanks
Reply
Hidden by Owner
Hidden by Owner
:iconredface5x:
Redface5x Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2014
I can kind of relate to this myself. Not that I've had little kids screaming for their mommies when they see me, but mostly co-workers who think I'm going to come to work with a gun one day and just start shooting them all.

So I'm a shy, quiet person who mostly keeps to himself. What's wrong with that?
Reply
Add a Comment: